Frank Zappa – Uncle Bernie's Farm Lyrics  Share

From Frank Zappa's album: Absolutely Free

[includes a quote from White Christmas (Berlin)]

I^,m dreaming . . . (Oh no-o-o!)

There^,s a bomb to blow yo mommy up
A bomb for your daddy too (ouch.)
A baby doll that burps & pees
A case of airplane glue
A hungry plastic troll
To scarf yo buddy^,s arm
A box of ugly plastic things marked:
Uncle Bernie^,s Farm!

There^,s a little plastic congress
There^,s a nation you can buy (I^,ll take two.)
There^,s a doll that looks like mommy
She^,ll do anything but cry (I seen her.)
There^,s a doll that looks like daddy
He^,s a funny little man
Push a button & ask for money
There^,s a dollar in his hand (check his wallet.)

We gotta send Santa Claus back to the Rescue Mission
[ Uncle Bernie's Farm lyrics from
http://www.musiclyricsnow.net/f/frank-zappa/uncle-bernies-farm/ ]
Christmas don^,t make it no more
Don^,t you know that murder & destruction
Scream the toys in every store (think this^,ll sell in New York?)

There^,s a man who runs the country
There^,s a man who tried to think
And they^,re all made out of plastic
When they melt they start to stink
There^,s a book with smiling children
Nearly dead with Christmas joys!
And smiling in his office
Is the creep who makes the toys . . .

FZ: We got this car: when it hits the wall you see the guy dying . . . got the little plastic puddles of blood . . . by the car
I^,M DREAMING . . .
Ray: He has intestines . . . he has plastic intestines you can
stuff back into his stomach . . .
FZ: There^,s this other thing, I^,ve got bombs. I^,ve got rockets, I^,ve got a . . . I^,ve got a stilson wrench & plastic brass knuckles . . .
Ray: And it comes with a tape recorder with sound effects . . .
FZ: We got a ^,39 Chevy . . .
Bookmark Uncle Bernie's Farm and share Frank Zappa with your friends