Frank Zappa – Dance Contest Lyrics  Share

From Frank Zappa's album: Tinsel Town Rebellion

FZ: "One of the things that I like best about playing in New York is this
particular place, because it has-it has a stage that is conducive to, how
you say in the trade, audience participation. Now if there^,s one thing
that I really like, it^,s, uh, audience participation. Now listen... I gotta
figure out something that I can, uh-do you think we should have another
dance contest tonight? Oh, bey-the injured person dance contest. Well,
let^,s see ... Awright, I^,ll tell you what we^,re going to do. Here^,s a, here^,s
a guy who really wants to be in the dance contest aw-reety, aw-righty,
hey. Okay.. "
BUTCH: "You are great, man-you are great. You are the best, baby.
Do ^,Dinah-Moe Humm^,
FZ: "All right, now wait a minute-what^,s your name? Hey, hey-what^,s
your name?"
BUTCH: "Butch."
FZ: "Awright, the dynamic Butch. Here^,s a girl who wants to dance with
Butch. What^,s your name?"
LENA: "Lena."
FZ: "What?"
LENA: "Lena."
FZ: "Lena, meet Butch. Okay, Lena and Butch, couple number one. Hell,
heh. Okay, let^,s see-that guy there, with his... that-that one there with the
teeshirt on-no, no, the other one-this one-no, no-no no no, wait a minute,
wait.. . well, you^,re-actually, you^,re very nice, though. Would you like to
come up here?... Okay, but d^,you think you can behave yourself?... Okay,
what^,s your name?"
[ Dance Contest lyrics from
http://www.musiclyricsnow.net/f/frank-zappa/dance-contest/ ]
GUY: "Tom, man.(mumble, mumble} you, baby, I (mumble, mumble) (gurgle)
you (mumble, mmf, etc.) "
GUY: "Arrgh, mmmf, glurg, etc."
FZ: "Awright, now wait a minute. Awright, awright, now wait..."
GUY: "(mumble, mmf.) Ugliness! Ugliness!"
OTHER GUY: "Frank, you^,re my buddy! Amh. mmf^,.^,
FZ: "Awright, now wait a minute, wait a minute. I have an important message
to deliver to all the cute people all over the world. If you^,re out there and you^,re
not cute, maybe you^,re beautiful, I just want to tell you somethin^,-there^,s more
of us ugly mother-fuckers than you are, hey-y, so watch out. Now..."
GUY: (BUTCH?): "Will you bring my girlfriend on stage, maybe?"
FZ: "Sure. All right, now you-he wants to get his girlfriend-go get your girlfriend."
GIRL: "Hey Zap!"
FZ: "Good to see you again."
GIRL: "Squeak!"
FZ: "I know."
GUY: "I ain^,t no fucking queer."
FZ: "All right, now look, here^,s what we^,re going to do. Awright. Now. This-it^,ll
be mashed, I^,ll save them, I^,ll save them for later."
GUY: "I^,m not a fucking queer."
FZ: "This man is trying desperately to let everybody know that he is not a queer.
He^,s not queer, he^,s not queer. Awright, and now. .. You are going to dance, like
you^,ve never danced before ..."
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